


We can still fix it

by caileon



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 8x23, After Season 8, Fluff, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-19
Updated: 2013-05-19
Packaged: 2017-12-12 07:53:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/809141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caileon/pseuds/caileon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**Spoiler warning - this story is a continuation of season 8**</p><p>Even though human Castiel can't bring himself to believe he can still fix what happened Dean and Sam aren't going to give up.</p><p> </p>
            </blockquote>





	We can still fix it

He didn't get up.

No matter what Dean and Sam tried, Cas refused to do anything. It has been weeks since the fall and now that Castiel had discovered what crying was, they couldn't make him stop.

Cas sobbed and turned around, burrowing his face in one of the pillows, clenching his fingers into the sheets.

What had he done? He should have never left heaven. Every time he tried to fix something he broke something more valuable and this time nobody could possibly fix it.  
Metatron ruled heaven alone and even if they would manage to reach him, he was way too powerful to be defeated. His brothers and sisters were homeless because of his stupid actions.

He wanted to end himself, because this time nothing could possibly bring him back, but he couldn't.  
Not only because he felt like he didn't deserve the freedom of being gone but also because he was watched all the time.

Dean sat next to the bed on a chair, watching over Castiel while taking another sip of his beer.

Nobody spoke when suddenly the door swung open and Sam looked inside: “hey” his gaze lasted a second on Cas, then went to his brother: “I'm going to the store, want anything?”

“Are you sure you're fit enough?”

“I am. And it's not like I'm running a marathon.”

Dean nodded:“ bring some pie”

Sam rolled his eyes, then tried to get an answer from Cas as well but the fallen angel didn't respond.

“Cas, you're human now, you NEED to eat” Dean spoke up with a harsh tone, causing nothing but silence. Sam pressed his lips together: “I can go, get some burgers.”  
With that he left them, going to look after Kevin.

The prophet had started to translate the angel tablet, trying to find a way to reverse what had happened and he was faster with the translations than before with the demon tablet. 

It was unusual for Sam to see his brother being so soft to someone but he had already figured out why Dean did what he did.  
The only problem was that his elder brother was too blind to see it himself nor was Castiel any good when it came to topics that included “people skills”. 

Dean sighed and got up, placing a hand on Castiels shoulder, softly shaking him: “Come on buddy. You need to get up. It wasn't your fault Metatron tricked yo-”

“don't” Cas countered, staring at the wall behind Deans back: “Don't defend me.”

The hunter clicked his tongue: “Cas, we can still fix-”

“NO WE CAN'T” in one movement Cas sat up, brushing Deans hand away: “BECAUSE EVERY TIME I TRY...I try.. and it gets worse!” Cas swallowed.

Now that his wings were gone he had to handle feelings that were way stronger than the few ones he had when he was an angel: “worse than I ever imagined.”

Dean smiled a false but well played smile:“you said Metatron took your grace, right? But that means we can get it back. Like we did with Anna..We will figure something out”.

Castiel examined his opposites expression and he knew his friend well enough to tell it was fake. 

The angel stared into empty space, considering to drift into madness like he once did but Dean placed a hand on his cheek, forcing him to make eye-contact. The fresh human breathed in as he recognized how wet Deans eyes were, even tough he wasn't crying. The next thing he knew was a warm body, coming closer and arms wrapping around him.

Cas didn't move. He didn't dare to. But then he closed his eyes and slowly let his fingers run over his friends back, resting there.  
He pulled Dean closer, shocked letting go by the fact that he wasn't holding back.

“You didn't hurt me Cas. You're not that strong anymore”

Cas smiled bitterly: “Yes. Now I'm like a baby in a trench coat.”

Dean raised his brows and let go: “don't tell me you're still offended by that!”

Castiel didn't answer and before Dean got the chance to apologize Kevin opened the door: “I think I found something!” he laughed and the hunter jumped up:”coming. Cas?”

The fallen angel shook his head, and Dean gave him a pitying look, then followed Kevin. 

\--

“So, tell me what you found”

“Well, I'm not sure if this works but it looks like there's a way to send a human up to heaven. It will take some hell of ingredients tough, and..”  
Kevin pointed at his notes, Dean looked over them, but didn't intend to read them: “and?”

“It says something about reapers. If they get you while you're..”not alive”, it's over.”

Dean threw his empty beer-bottle into a basket next to him, earning an annoyed look by Kevin:”So you have to become a ghost to go up?”

“Ahm” Kevin pulled out a paper that was hidden under some other notes: “Not really. I'm not even sure if that's possible”

“it is” Dean grinned: “but the only one who was able to swing it is gone”

Kevin waited a moment but Dean remained silent, so he went on:”you have to take something with you that binds you to earth.”  
he looked up:”even tough I think that YOU might not need anything.”

The Winchester gathered up his lips :“what makes you think that?”

“The bound between you and Sam..I think that should do it.”

“Fine. And how do I get back?”

Kevin sat down, stretching his legs, then bowed over the tablet:”I have to translate the spell.” he looked up: “but Dean. Are you sure YOU wanna go?”

Dean smirked bitterly: “who else should go?”

The prophet made a face: “Actually you ARE the only one who can..”

“Pardon?”

“Only a human can go. A pure human”

Dean raised his eyebrows and Kevin explained:”Sam is out because of the trials he attended. Cas was an angel and like him I can't go because we still have some kind of connection to heaven.”  
The hunter smiled, eyes closed he shook his head and left without another word.

\--

Days passed by, the news were going nuts in theories about aliens and miracles.

Dean got up late, making his way to the dining room when his eyes caught a thin Castiel sitting in front of Sam. They recognized him and Cas smiled: “good morning”.

It was almost heartbreaking to see them. Sam had recovered from the trials but still hadn't gained back all his strength and Cas..Cas' smile made Dean shiver. It took him a while to understand that it was the same smile future Cas had when Zachariah had sent Dean to the year 2014. The Winchester pushed the thoughts away and sat down: “where's Kevin?”

“out. He said he needed to get something”

Dean nodded knowingly and Sam sighed: “Dean, is there something we should know?”

“No, there isn't.”

“Can you give me the butter?” Cas interrupted and after Sam handed it to him he desperately tried to put it on a piece of bread. Dean smiled at his friend failing at breakfast: “want me to help you?”

“no.” Now it was more butter on the toast than the toast was big when Cas tried to plug it into his mouth. He was actually a fast learner but maybe his depression had drawn him down too much. 

Dean thought about some antidepressant he had bought a few weeks ago but he couldn't give them to him. It would just change Cas more into the hippie Cas Dean feared so much to-

“Dean!” Dean stopped staring at the fallen angel and looked up to Sam, who pointed towards the entry: “I think Kevin is back.”

Kevin joined them and to Deans surprise he hadn't bought anything for a spell but a bunch of unhealthy food. Sam sighed when the boy started to take out one cake after another and put it on the table: “You really shouldn't-”

“what?” the prophet took a bite from one.

“Let him” Dean smiled and started to fill his belly as well.

Nobody spoke for a while when the taller brother broke the silence: “Cas, you should learn how to shoot.”  
The fallen angel nodded unhappily.

\--

The training hall was cold and smelled old, but it was clean and..well, it was useful.

„okay, now aim and-“

A shot went off, the bullet flew through the room and missed the target. Cas cursed then took the gun back to look at it. Dean dived out of the fireline: “dammit Cas! Watch where you're pointing at!”

The man gave him a bitter smile:”It's no use. Why do I have to learn to use this things? I can still defend myself with an angel blade”

Dean sighed: “It's useful and you know that”

Castiel was fragile now, even more than Sam and this bothered him, made the Winchester worry more than ever before. The fallen angel didn't sleep well, he was hunted by nightmares, but at least he had started to regain his powers, this breakfast today was the first step in the right direction.

“Dean, I don't want to do this.” He lowered the gun, then placed it on a table next to them.

Dean examined his friend: “I can't let you go out there if you can't defend yourself”

Cas' smile grew wider, and sadder at the same time:“It's none of your business”

“Oh, that's not how I see it!” Dean snapped: “it IS my business!”

Cas turned around, facing the Winchester: “tell me. Why?”

Dean retreated a bit: “because you are my family.”

“Oh, am I?” Cas snorted and shook his head, then let out a laugh:”Yeah, of course. You and Sam. Because everyone that I thought my sisters and brothers are..well..lost” he kept laughing and Dean terrified watched him, then anger took over:”What happened wasn't your fault!”

Castiel stopped his hysteria tears started to collect in his eyes: "No. It never is."

“Cas, buddy, listen.” Dean came closer, their eyes met:”I need you”

“No, you don't” Castiel sobbed: “not anymore”

Now Dean was the one who smiled, but it was an honest smile, not bitter or sad: “I never needed you just because you were useful”

Cas' face twitched a little when a confused expression appeared. He waited and pushed, Dean went on. He didn't even know what he was saying until the words slipped his lips:”I need you because I love you”

Cas' eyes widened in surprise, Dean breathed in, lips gathered up, lightly shaking his head while backing off:”Wait, I-”

But it was already too late. It was like someone hat finally switched a counter in Castiels head, he reached for Dean without realizing getting a hold of the hunters arm:”I..I need you too. Everything I did I did for you, only for you. To protect you and keep you safe” 

Dean swallowed, his gaze going down, stopping as they found Castiels lips.

“Dean, ever since I laid hands on you in hell, I-”

Dean pressed his lips together separating them again with his tongue, liking over the tender flesh. His eyes went up again, finding Castiel staring back. An intense feeling went through Deans body and he slowly came closer, only a few inches apart Cas leaned in, their mouths almost touching when someone pushed the door open behind them. Dean jumped and turned towards Kevin, who was completely out of breath.

“I-” Kevin examined the men, now unsure if he was interrupting:”I think you should come now, Dean”

“Great, that's great” Dean stuttered, actually relieved. Cas was calm, maybe he would smile but the hunters reaction on Kevin coming in bothered him.

\--

“Are you sure about this?” Kevin started to place some things, candles and leaves over a round table that had enochian symbols carved into it:”You didn't even tell Sam and what will you do after you found Metatron?” 

They were in the dungeon now, which was isolated good enough to not be noticed by Sam and Castiel.

“Also what should I tell them?”

 

“It won't take longer than an hour. Tell them I went to the mall or something”

“Dean, that's a really bad idea.”

Dean pulled out an angel blade from his jacket, then a gun, followed by an amulet:”the gun's filled with bullets made of angel blades and even if everything fails I still have this innocent looking thing” he pointed at the amulet.

“I'm still not sure, Dean.”

“Me neither” he looked up with a smile. But here was his chance to get some things straight.

Especially for Cas.  
He OWNED him that: “let's do it”


End file.
